I can't believe the feelings I am having right now.  My worst nightmare just happened in real life.  Tim just broke up with me.  I feel like I am having withdrawl symptoms of a drug.  I am shaking uncontrollably, I am shivering from being cold, yet I am sweating at the same time.  I don't understand yet I do.  He needs some time to grow on his own and he doesn't think it is fair to me.  But at the same time, I love him and he loves me.  I don't know, my head is filled with mixed emotions, I can't think straight.  I just want this to all be one big mistake or a dream.  I want to be with Tim, and I can't and that hurts.  Basically I am just hurting right now. 
Thursday, October 21, 2004
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