Wednesday, January 12, 2005


Last night was just one of those nights where I was sad and lonely and longed to be held. Of course, that was not possible due to my circumstances of being single and being away from friends. I found myself talking to some wonderful men online, my co-worker Erik, and my good ol' friend Tyler, who both had some very kind words to comfort me, but it wasn't enough. I ended up laying in my bed listening to Mercy Me (my favorite band) and crying hysterically. It was one of those uncontrolable cries where you can't stop and you don't really know why you are crying. I do have to say that it helped me to fall asleep and helped to release some pent up emotions that I hadn't released up until then.

Ok, so I think I found some feelings about Garden State. First I want to start off by saying I had no idea that Bill Sperry knows Zach Braff (from college). Second of all, it took me two times of watching it to make it all the way through. The first time I fell asleep and the second time I stopped it and then restarted it because it was kinda slow and I didn't know how everything was gonna connect in the end, and I am still not really sure about the beginning. Maybe I am missing something. Anyhow, I think the movie really got to me because it is a depiction of the last few years of my life. I really identified with Zach's character. My life is split into two. My life back here in Washington (where my family and long time friends are) and my life at school in California. Zach is also split between his home town where he grew up and his life as an actor in Los Angeles. Even my friends and Zach's friends are similar in ways that I choose not to disclose. I just feel so many similarities to Zach as he returns to his home town. Especially when he talks to Natalie Portman in the pool, about what "home" is. I have posted about that previously. I am not sure what home is, is it where you put your things, or where your heart is? He also says that he may not have a "home" until he starts a family and makes a new home for himself and his family. I agree and feel the same way, I may not know for a few more years. Then of course comes the love story. Zach and Natalie fall in love, but they are going to have to make it long distance or end it because he is going away. This is what happened to me when I was dating Tim. It hurt every time I had to say goodbye after a visit to Washington. I can't really explain it any more than this. If you have seen the movie, you know what I mean and what I am going through and have gone through. If you haven't seen it, you better. It is a good flick, just a little slow. If you have any questions about all this, let me know via phone or comment space.

Today I am thankful for opportunities and friends to expand your mind and horizons. Peace.

No comments: